Emotional Intelligence...
The Bottom Line of Business Success

Bookmark and Share

by Business Coach Judy Lockett

Emotional intelligence is the number one factor determining success, according to Daniel Goleman, author of Working With Emotional Intelligence. In his book he says, "...emotional competencies make up two thirds or more of the ingredients of standout performance."

Goleman goes on to identify five primary competencies of stars in the workplace as: Self-Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.

Would you like to learn secrets to building a core emotional skill that will enhance the five competencies and guarantee more peace of mind AND success? If so read on.

The first step is awareness.

The key to building emotional intelligence is awareness of your thoughts and emotions. Researchers have discovered that emotion is a spontaneous physiological reaction to a thought. Often the thought is invisible to us because over years we have developed automatic responses.


Wouldn't it be nice if you could call on the positive emotions such as joy, happiness and exuberance to motivate you at will and let go of the negative emotions like anger, shame and despair quickly and painlessly? This skill can be learned.

Below is a four step process to get in touch with the emotion in your body and the thought that preceded it. **It works best if an experienced coach guides you through the process, however you can begin the process on your own and build your emotional awareness skill.

  • As you notice a state of agitation or emotion, close your eyes and bring your awareness to your body. Notice the area of your body that first draws your attention. Note the sensations there; the size of the area they cover, the color, the density, the temperature and movement or changes.

  • Ask your body "If this were an emotion what would it be?" and listen for the first word that comes back.

  • Next move your attention to your mind and ask "What am I thinking?" Observe the thoughts from a non-attached place as if you are a neutral visitor.

  • Focus on your breath. This will help you to remain an observer rather than becoming attached. Ask yourself what is the quality of my breath? Is it smooth, rich and expansive or hesitant, raspy, shallow or thin?

The second step is choice

Would you like to be able to choose positive outcomes for yourself? It is possible, and after awareness, the next step is choice. Choose the thoughts and feelings that forward you. At the point of conscious awareness choice IS possible.

Prior to conscious awareness you are like a robot that has been programmed with automatic responses. Consciously exercising choice allows the development of qualities like resilience, initiative, optimism and adaptability; all key components of emotional intelligence and success.

A practical process that can help you exercise choice is to ask yourself "Does this thought serve me? Does this emotion serve me?" If not, ask yourself "What do I want to think?" "What do I want to feel?"

Choose a thought that forwards you and concentrate all consciousness on what you want to think. As you get better and better at this, you will find yourself feeling better and you will begin to notice that things turn out the way you want more often. You will experience freedom as you take charge of your own thoughts and feelings.

The third step is commitment

For most of us, consciously choosing our thoughts and emotions is not an easy process and it takes much practice and commitment. If you find yourself attached to a thought or emotion that you would like to release a statement that can help is "I choose to release this - emotion or thought - now. It no longer serves me."

A physical action can be helpful at this time as well. By involving multiple senses the subconscious learns more quickly. You can pretend you hold the emotion or thought in your hand and drop it or flick it away.

We are very attached to our negative emotions. We act on automatic programming from childhood and it takes commitment to continue to be willing to choose the thought and emotion that we desire, rather than the one automatically programmed in.

In time the new process of choice becomes automatic and our life becomes easier. At this point we partake of the emotional star quality described by Daniel Goleman and we begin to experience freedom and success on a regular basis.

**The four step process provided by Kathy Pike of Pathways to Radiance.

Note: If it's not convenient to go through the process at the first moment of agitation, you can bring the memory of it up later, in a safe quiet place and go through the process at that time.

Judy Merrick-Lockett is a Business Coaching Leader, Entrepreneur, Corporate Veteran and Founder of Smooth Sailing Business Coaching.

She has combined 20 years of successful corporate sales with over 5 years of coaching and small business ownership to create a powerful coaching process.

Judy has distilled all that experience into a new Law of Attraction Smooth Sailing Toolkit.

Check out our complete list of business marketing articles and online marketing articles!

Bookmark and Share


Subscribe to Small Business Marketing Secrets now!

Looking for more business marketing articles and online marketing articles?

This document may not be reprinted, reproduced, used or posted online or off-line without express permission from the author. If you would like to use this article, please contact the author at


Subscribe to Small Business Marketing Secrets now

Contact me with any questions!